I have read enough decor and DIY blogs to know that they are almost always sweet, upbeat, & positive. There are before and after photos of a huge mess, or a plain room, or an ugly lamp, and then…TA DA!! a big reveal where stuff is magically transformed and everyone oohs and aahs! Am I the only one who gets frustrated and annoyed and just plain SICK OF CONSTRUCTIONS AND ALL IT ENTAILS?
I have a secret. Come closer,so I can share it with you.
I really, really hate painting. I'm tired of construction, and filling nail holes. and sanding.
Oh,I love the accomplished feeling I get when it is all done. But truthfully, I can feel very accomplished when I see the end product when I pay some wonderful person to do it! Am I lazy? Maybe a teeny bit. But mostly, I'm not so good at it. I do not have a lot of patience. I wanted to real in this blog, and be truthful. I wanted to show the real journey of making our house into our home. and it’s not all sweetness and light.
I don’t find many places on-line where people say-- hey, this stinks. I'm tried of it-- I QUIT! Of course I'm not going to quit- I will follow through and make sure it all gets done. But my real joy isn't in the construction part of it. I love the decorating. Putting it all together - finding unexpected pieces to use to reflect who my family is- how my home lives. I love (and have to!!) do it on a steep budget. It’s a challenge but I'm pretty good at it. (To be honest I do love painting furniture, just not walls.) I love to find something unloved, and making it lovely.
Could there be some deep seated psychology in there? I hate painting now, but liked it when my Mom and I did it together- and she died 7 years ago this month, on the 21st -I miss her). I love making the changes in our home that finally make it OURS, looking nothing like the 2 previous owners, but maybe it niggles at me a bit seeing how easy it was to "erase" them? Maybe I'm over thinking. Maybe I'm just cranky from being over budget, for both time and money, and I'm simply TIRED of tools and cardboard and dust. Maybe I'm tired of rain, and knowing it will most likely flood again with this rain pouring down, and I can't really paint in this weather. (Not sure if I l should cheer this or not!)
I look at 10,000 nail holes that need to be filled, and my eyes tear up.
I am overwhelmed.
Here’s what my house looks like today:
messy yup. scaffolding & Cardboard Hated paint cans can’t be put away Yes, that is a saw Notice no curtains. Neighbors have. ok, I do ADORE that buffet, but it needs some love- to be cleaned off, my”magic” to bring it to life.
So now that I’ve just vented like crazy, and whined, here’s what I’m going to do:
I am going to make another cup of coffee, I am going to count my blessings, and I’m pretty sure they will add up to more than those dreaded nail holes. I’m going to pray for a little bit, pray for some strength, for clearer vision, for patience. Then I’m going to change out of my paint clothes, and go to Wally-world and get some pet food. Then I am going to come home and make Nutella chocolate chip cookies for my kids as I have been promising for days. Maybe I’ll fill holes tonight, maybe i won’t. They will still be there tomorrow. I hope tomorrow I’ll have a totally different attitude.